Countdown: #3 “Going Under”

Hello everyone!

I’m Maxxie Monroe. I am an eightteen-year-old guy who has grown up in a place in the middle of  nowhere. Literally I did. The name of the place is irrelevant so please avoid asking (I won’t answer that question anyway). For now I’m living in the capital of my country which I name “C.”. Sometimes I really feel like I’m in the wrong country. (While I was in my hometown I believed that not only I was born in the wrong country, but also in the wrong place of it.) My country is a pretty small one and “left behind” in many aspects.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my country (not in a patriotic way though) as my hometown too. But for now I’d so much prefer a place more involved in fashion & art, music etc. Like London or Berlin for instance. And definitely New York. Hope I’ll be able to live there one day..

So.. About me now.. I’m pretty awkward at times in fact. I adore clubbing and dancing and I’m usually described as the party animal but I enjoy some peace & quite too or a camping trip in the middle of nowhere. I’m a kind of thrill-chaser trying always to experience new things in my life. I love walking around on my own too. Or sitting at crowded places on my own (squares, streets, parks) just to write. For a reason people inspire me. I adore writing too. I can write for days straight without doing anything else. At times I really believe I’d be dead without writing. I also adore books. I can “devour” them in a matter of hours in fact.

I like speaking too. Silence is one of the things that “scares” me the most. I can speak about pretty much anything,but “philosophical” conversations are my favourite, if of course the partner is capable of holding such a conversation.

I’m upfront and sincere most of the time (no one’s perfect!!) and extremely out-going. Sometimes though, I can be really in-going, not wanting to speak or see anyone. I dance a lot. I drink too. A lot. I smoke. Not heavily, but I’m close to that. Generally I’m the kind of people who is living life on the edges. Most of the time I push myself outside my limits just to see what will happen. And I can get mood swings all of the time. Anyhow I’m usually an easy-going person, but at times I seem unapproachable to others.I can’t get insulted easily too but trust me, when I’m mad you’d better run. I don’t hold bad feelings or “vendettas” too. I’m mean; that’s childish and stupid.

I’m commonly described as the slutty bitch. Funny thing though I am bored of sex. Although I get a lot of it in my life. I adore the “game” before the sex. You know, bringing somebody to the point he or she (I like both by the way) that wants to have sex with me.

In my life; I want  all or nothing. Perfection only (Nothingness is perfection too in a way). Some people usually call me spoilt. I am not. In fact since a very young age I learnt that I have to fight for what I want because nobody is gonna give it away. And I like fighting for the things I want rather than being given them like that. I’ve been through really hard times in my life but I don’t let it get me down anymore. I learnt from these a lot. Mostly that, the clouds can be thick but behind them always lies the sun. And honestly, you have to live through the rain to see the beauty of the rainbow.

And now that I mentioned the sun, I have to let you know that I hate the sun. Now that I’m done with school, I rarely go out when the sun is still up in the sky; it gives headache. I suffer from insomnia too. Not that I don’t sleep at all, but day by day I sleep even less. Sometimes I have been sleepless for a week or more. I’m something like an opheliac, maybe even just like an opheliac. Meaning that I have an aptitude for self-destruction. But not to the suicidal point anymore.

In the end, I would describe myself as a fighter. I don’t give up and I won’t let anything pull me down for a very long time. I ain’t cold-hearted or anything. Neither tough as many people describe me to be. In fact I’m most probably the most  fragile being they’ve ever met. The difference is that I pass through things which other people consider extremely serious or bad. You know, different perception I guess. 

That’s all for now. If anyone wants to contact me or anything here’s my e-mail:

maxxie_monroe@live.com

You can always comment on my blog or anything. Still don’t get mad if your comments don’t show up. I have to approve them first because I like to reply immediately. Whether you agree or disagree (especially then basically) your comment is gonna get approved as long as you have something to add. Comments of the type: “That was great!” won’t get approved for I consider them a waste of space in the comments section and kinda “show-off”. Though those comments are welcomed to be made; they make me feel better.